Hey, guys… This post is just going to be me discussing (ranting?) about my feelings on my recent weight gain.
Yes, you read that right.
If you are new to my blog (both this blog and my previous one) I was and am still on a weight loss journey that started on the 30th of June 2018.
Fast forward 1 year and a half later, through sheer will power, dedication and discipline I managed to lose 23 kgs.
All from my own hard work and boy, it truly was blood, sweat and tears and occasionally puke (it was a bad case of stomach flu… it was bad).
It was going great for me I steadily lost weight up until life came in the way and I stagnated at 72 kgs for quite a while and now the unthinkable has happened to me. I gained weight.
I chalk it up to being too happy in my relationship but to be quite honest I think I have been in denial for quite some time on this weight gain issue. I kept deluding myself that it was just gas or indigestion or that I was bloated but after two months and using 3 different scales at 3 different places all showing the same number I had to face the music.
I didn’t gain a lot just about 5kgs making me 78kgs now but it’s the fact this hasn’t happened before and how I am dealing with it now that makes me… I don’t know… scared I suppose?
How did I gain 5kgs without truly noticing it… Will I go back to my 96kgs weight again?
It makes me scared I suppose because of how easily I gained the weight all because I was happy and wasn’t thinking much about what I was putting into my mouth versus how hard I worked to get the weight off.
I was really feeling down in the dumps because now I couldn’t stop eating or think about what I was going to eat next and I thought shit… It’s back to square one again.
Are you kidding me?
It didn’t help that my past failures made me insecure and anxious at my own ability to reach my goal weight. All those challenges I never finish and what not but then I took out my notebook of where I used to write down my workouts and stuff just so I could get the date of when this journey started and I saw my very first before pic I took and damn I did come a long way.
I am unsure of where this post is going. I just wanted to let out my feelings and also to reaffirm to myself that hey it was hard but you did it once. You can do it again.
Perhaps I should make these random blog posts a more reoccurring thing to keep me accountable as well as pair it up with social media such as Instagram for in the moment type of things. Am I making sense? Probably not but it’s okay.